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The advantages of being depressed

The worst thing about depression is the stock photos

As I lie here in my pajamas with my dog on my lap and my notebook sitting next to a half-empty glass of wine, it occurred to me that people don’t look at the positives of clinical depression. Sure, we all know what the downsides are. Your friends keep asking what’s wrong and won’t take “I’m fine” for an answer, just because it’s obvious you’re lying. You quit going to work, get fired, get evicted from your house, and end up living under a bridge while eating road kill over a campfire. You know, that kind of thing. What most people don’t realize is that there are benefits to depression as well.

5. You have more free time. One of the most frequent complaints I hear from people is that there “just isn’t enough time in the day.” That’s not the case when you’re depressed. When you spend all your time at home, lying in bed or catching up on the shows on your DVR, you have nothing but free time. Since you don’t do anything all day, you have plenty of free time to do anything you want to do, which is more nothing.

4. You save money. When you’re depressed, you lose interest in the activities that you used to enjoy. That’s great news, because let’s face it, a lot of those activities cost money. I’m poor and don’t really have room in my budget for “doing things,” with it all being spent on items such as “providing electricity” or “providing a roof that keeps the rain off of my head.” Even if I’m not doing something that requires me to buy tickets or pay a check, if I go out at a minimum I’m spending money on gas. Lying in bed, staring at the ceiling while I relive every mistake I’ve made over the last couple months doesn’t cost me a dime, so I can afford to do it all day every day if I want.

3. You lose weight. It seems that lying in bed all day doing nothing doesn’t really work up an appetite. When you’re depressed, you tend to skip meals and when you do eat, you eat smaller portions. Less eating also means less money spent on groceries — or at least it would if spending on alcohol didn’t skyrocket.

2. You become more self-aware. A lot of happy people go around without really knowing much about themselves, their strengths and weaknesses and such. Depressed people are more self-aware because of the time spent on introspection, or what I like to call “dwelling on each and every little thing I despise about myself.” A depressed person is their own worst critic, and it is an honest, critical self-analysis that leads to a real growth of character, or at least it would if not for the crippling paralysis of self-doubt… You know what? I don’t even think I made a good point here. This paragraph sucked. I’m sorry for wasting your time and making you read it.

1. There isn’t actually a #1. Yeah, I know that makes this a terrible Top 5 list. But come on, did you even think there would be four advantages of depression? I know you hate me for doing that and I guess I deserve it, but give me a break. I’m writing this drunk you know what drinking did to Hemingway’s writing! So thanks for reading. Also, sorry you read this. Don’t worry, though. I’m fine.

Your Song of the Day: “Down” by Gwyneth & Monko


For more glass-half full reading, check out my post about how haunted houses are misunderstood.

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  1. January 7, 2014 at 11:04 pm

    As much as I love dark satire, I’m worried. If you’re not on meds, then talk to your doctor. If you are, stop drinking. I know you’re yelling, “Shutddup beyotch! No one asked you!” That’s my two cents.

    I know it tends to run in writers. It’s not something people can snap out of but it is something that excising and being around others tends to improve. Ask Jason. I kick his butt on a regular basis. Short of pulling up and moving to my soon to be compound of friends (As now Rod is moving here too), all I have to offer you is advice that you don’t want.

    You know I adore you, and if you need a sounding board, I listen. ((Hugs))

    • January 7, 2014 at 11:10 pm

      No one asked you!

      Oh Becca. I thought you’d know by now not to take the things I write too seriously. I didn’t know Rod was moving there. So are you going to make a colony of all of the cool former Thoughts bloggers?

      • January 7, 2014 at 11:20 pm

        Well, I know but… I also know there is something to this. :p

        Yes, well Lady or Not readers. Apparently everyone needs a little Becca in their life. The place that should not be named laid you off so they get no credit.

        That and Austin is growing so fast so there is lots of jobs. You wait and see, someone will will 100 million lottery. Then buy me a compound on Maui and we can all live there telling me how awesome I am. :P Narcissistic much ;)?

      • January 7, 2014 at 11:21 pm

        Okay, we’ll just call it a Lady Or Not colony. Maui sounds great, too. Doesn’t have the music scene of Austin but there would be other benefits.

  2. January 7, 2014 at 11:05 pm

    Don’t be sorry, Jeremy, because I’m glad to read it. I hear a lot of myself here, to be honest. I’m glad you try to make light of the situation because often life comes down to choosing to laugh instead of cry. That being said, I hope you can see a doctor, or you have. If you aren’t doing so for lack of insurance, well, I identify with you there as well. I’m avoiding the booze but I’ve got the dog on my sweatpants-clad lap. Actually, I was specifically encouraged to get the dog BECAUSE I am depressed.

    We should talk more, since, you know, we have so much free time and all. Hang in there!

    • January 7, 2014 at 11:13 pm

      Dogs really are the best anti-depressants. Humor is probably the second best. And since I don’t have health insurance, that will have to do! haha.

      Y’all are taking me too seriously. It’s all good.

      • January 8, 2014 at 1:07 am

        Agreed on all counts and you better be all good. At least you had an excuse to post!

  3. January 7, 2014 at 11:11 pm

    Ha! sometimes you have to laugh at all the misery because crying just gets old sometimes. thanks for the bringing a little light into the darkness.

    • January 7, 2014 at 11:16 pm

      Thanks. Laughter is the best medicine. Well, second best behind Celexa.

  4. January 7, 2014 at 11:26 pm

    Oh man, the never-ending cycle of infinite free time that comes with depression. I’ve sat for hours upon hours pondering what I would do if I wasn’t depressed. Good thing we have blogs.

    • January 7, 2014 at 11:30 pm

      Now that you mention it, if it wasn’t for depression and narcissism, blogs probably wouldn’t exist.

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